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When I was a little girl, I became obsessed with a story, or rather, its characters. It was the tale of Joey and Annabella - a brother and sister duo made entirely of lollies. Little brother Joey was cute, cheeky and made of delicious liquorice, while his big sister Annabella was smart, sophisticated and wouldn't be caught dead in anything but a pair of musk-stick legs. "Pink legs.... How chic", I would comment (I probably didn't use the word "chic", but you get the picture). I was obviously very ahead of my time, because even if pink legs weren't necessarily in then, they certainly are now. In fact, every colour legs are in: hot pink, electric blue, emerald, peach, pearl, black, purple, magenta, gold, silver, bronze... Just not legs in that out-dated "skin" colour. You don't still wear those do you?

These days, every store from Supre to Sportsgirl to American Apparel is all about the bright tights. And why wouldn't they be? They turn your outfit from tights and a top to TIGHTS AND A TOP! all the while looking like you just came back from a week in Lady GaGa's wardrobe. A major fashion trend for 2009 is bright tights. Like any adventurous trend though, there are rules. Don't think about swaying from them either - whoever said rules were made to be broken has no idea about fashion!

DO!!!
1. Wear with chunky belts, such as studded biker chick belts a la Mary-Kate Olsen and Kate Moss 
2. Wear with chunky and adventurous shoes, like combat boots and high-top sneakers. You may get away with wearing simple black flats (dependng on the circumstance) but if I see you wearing thongs, I will literally cross the street to slap you with them one after the other.
3. Wear them as pants. That’s what they’re made for. Only attempt to wear under other clothing if you're an experienced fashionista i.e. Balenciaga, Emilio Pucci and Moschino (as above).
4. Wear them with leg-warmers in the colder months, if you dare.

5. Match your top to your bottoms. This is a very standard dressing rule that hopefully most people have grasped by now. The colour of your top must be compatible with the colour of your tights. Most people go for plain white tee’s, but I suggest still venturing out of your comfort zone sometimes. For example, a gold sequined top and hot pink tights. Sexy.
6. Experiment with wearing gloves. I have pairs of shiny sky blue and also black tights and they both look hot with my leather fingerless gloves, as long as I’m not wearing a leather jacket and motorbike helmet while sitting on my Harley at the same time.
7. Clash your fashion accessories. To a certain degree, clashing is your friend. I believe this rule can stretch very far, if you're smart about it. Start small by wearing bright green bangles with purple tights, or something similar.

DON'T!!!
1. Wear mismatched colours, for example red with green or red with yellow. You don't want children asking you where their Barbie Dream House was at Christmas or mistaking you for a certain red-head clown who works at McDonalds.
2. Buy three-quarter bright tights. They’re in the clearance bin for a reason!
3. Wear with busy gladiator or strappy heels. They look best worn with open-footed, peep-toe heels or wedges.
4. Wear singlets. ARGHHHHHHH! I know I said to treat these babies like pants, but just picture yourself in these extremely tight, lycra bottoms, with a midriff. Are you suddenly overcome by a desire to exercise more and buy lycra tights less? This means oversized tops only! Long, baggy singlets are okay. 
5. Pair with a handbag or shoes that can only be described as incorrect. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, wear your tan gladiator flats and your equally tan shoulder bag with the tassles you picked up cheap from Strandbags. This is mixing genres which is generally bad news (in this case, boho with futurism). This is bad for your image, your reputation and your feelings when people whisper “did she get dressed in the dark?”
6. Assume this trend is for everyone. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: just because you want to join in, it doesn’t mean it looks good. For some reason, I look ridiculous in skivvys. And I mean ridiculous. So I leave them on the rack. Always be aware of your shape. You will get more compliments for an outfit that suits you, rather than if you attempt a trend and crash and burn. 

Do you agree?

Photo: http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/5861/tightshm1.jpg

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