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We all know that thigh high boots are hot right now. Additionally, nude heels are plaguing the streets and extreme lacing has been spotted on everything from leggings to evening gowns this season. Pour these three trends into the one accessory and what should result is a fashionable, on trend item that’ll be good as glued to your pretty thighs for the next three months. Unfortunately, in Lady GaGa’s case... How shall I put this? Remember the film The Fly? It’s pretty much exactly like that - something ugly and bug eyed must have got into the cooking process (I blame the square toes), because I didn’t even know boots this horrendous could exist.

The only difference between The Fly and Lady GaGa’s boots is that rather than the result being a half fly/half human hybrid, we’ve been presented with some kind of half monster/half trendoid. I think she needs to cover herself in a cloth (see what I did there? Like Dr. Delambre?) A big, all encompassing cloth. “Oh but she’s so quirky, she’s so different,” you’ll say. She isn’t, she really isn’t. Ridiculous? Maybe. Attention seeking? Definitely. The only good thing about these boots is that she only seems to have ever worn them out once. Obviously, on laying her eyes on these photos, she recoiled in horror and realised what we’d all been thinking – those boots were THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF HER LIFE. Clearly, they’re in the rubbish bin now. Or possibly on some homeless kid. They’re an even worse fashion faux pas than that time your Mum made your formal dress in year 10. And it was all crushed velvet and sack-like. And you had neon braces. And legwarmers. And then you got vomited on. Yep, far, far worse.

P.S. Sorry if you’ve already been hating on these for months, I only just stumbled across them (I can’t say I follow Lady GaGa religiously).