5 Trends to Forget

We all know there are some timeless trends out there. They’re usually classic, simple and can be utilised on any occasion, fret free. Then there are those other trends, the ones where you want to burn its every existing element, dig a whole and bury the ashes just to avoid regurgitating every time you see it.

So, no need to pick up the kerosene and lighter, just keep your fashion friendly wardrobes free from the next few commercial hiccups.

1. Knee High Gladiator Sandals
We all adore our ultra comfy/sexy gladiator sandals. The way they make you look cooler than the breeze but hotter than the sun. I love my babies so much they’ve each received an individual name. However, their ugly stepsister doesn’t receive so much appreciation. Just like many fashion faux pars she can only be worn by the uber sexy, super hot model and even still it only looks half decent. They cut you off at an unfavourable angle and slice your legs into a multi-dimensional skin jigsaw puzzle.
So, the next time you want to look long and lean, don’t shoot for the knee-high gladiator sandals. You might just end up looking like a dumpy 1970’s dominatrix. Ouch!

2. Stockings underneath Shorts
Sometimes I feel like people just aren’t thinking when they hop out of bed in the morning, or maybe they’ve been dressed by their six year old cousin. Whatever it is, it’s a shame and a crime against society. I don’t care what excuse you give about your jeans being in the wash. Stockings under shorts are simply unacceptable. Specifically, mini hipster shorts with opaques are like squeezing fresh lemon in your eyes that are already plagued with conjunctivitis.
It looks like a school uniform gone wrong. Just choose. Is it pants or shorts?

3. The Short Fringe
No, it’s not a terrible lawn mower incident, but it does remind me of the time when I was four and I cut my brothers hair. The results were similar; too much forehead and not enough hair.
The greatest thing about fringes is they have an ability to frame the most odd shaped face and turn it into a generic masterpiece. The short fringe throws this concept completely out the window and lets it land in a pit of quicksand.
There’s this funny thing about hair and haircuts. Once you cut it off, you can’t quite fix it. There’s literally no going back; only growing back, and that takes a good few months accompanied by some bad hats and serial hibernation. Let’s all avoid embarrassment and veto the short fringe.


4. Bubble Skirts
Before this trend came about I never would have thought bubbles could do anything wrong. They’re fun, they float, you can pop them and best of all, they look pretty in the sunlight.
The bubble skirt/dress defeats the entire concept of the bubble. Bubbles are supposed to make you feel happy, even just saying the word bubble makes me smile. Then I see someone wearing a skirt overly elasticised at the bottom and expansive in the middle and there is only one thing I want to do… pop it. For the good of the nation everybody pop your bubble skirts, whether it’s in the fire or popped in the bin. Just do it.


5. Leg warmers
Gwen Stefani’s Asian entourage are about the only ones that can get away with sporting leg warmers. Apart from Jane Fonda, I don’t know anyone that actually wants their ankles and calves to look the same size as their thighs.
Being the sucker for a good dress up party that I am, I decided to experiment with some of those furry puppies. The conclusion for my experiment was this:
Leg warmers are hot; literally.
I must have sweated out three litres of water purely that night. So, now I think maybe leg warmers aren’t just a bad trend, but maybe a strategy to lose weight. Maybe that’s why the Harijuku girl’s are so small!


If you disagree let me know. After all, our peers confound most of our own instituted trends. You might just change my mind. But I highly doubt it; it’s a big challenge.